Human-Rights (5 TH Year)

Our envy says more about us than it does about the target of our envy.

Envy is most often defined as some degree of discontent we experience regarding another’s possessions, advantages, achievements, traits, etc. It’s natural to compare ourselves to others. Doing so may evolve early on when we compare ourselves to siblings or others our age, whether we focus on how they are treated, including what they get to do or what things they are given. In this manner, such comparisons may inform our standing amongst others.

Envy, like other feelings, may be experienced at various intensities. It may be considered benign, as when such comparisons motivate us to improve our lives. Or, by contrast, it can be destructive for us and potentially for others as well.

Some distinction may also be made between destructive envy, as an ongoing disposition, versus destructive envy, as an episodic reaction to forming social comparisons. One study reports that episodic envy might be more situational and associated with negative feelings such as anxiety, depression, anger, and an overall negative mood (Cohen-Charish, 2009).

A man in a state of envySource: 123rf/Stock Photo/Anna Koldunova

Envy as a motivating force

Envy can potentially be a positive force in our lives. For example, we might observe an upscale home and think, “That sure is a nice home. I imagine it would really be nice to live there.” Such envy may then fuel thought such as, “What can I do to have a house like that?” In this case, our envy motivates us for positive advancement.

This is a constructive and benign type of envy. As such, it may enlighten and aid us in forming our identity and how we wish to live our lives. Our envy may inform us regarding, not only what we wish to obtain, but also in identifying values, traits, and behaviors that are consistent with who we are and who we wish to become.

Destructive envy

By contrast, destructive envy focuses on making a comparison that only enhances our feeling inferior to the person who possesses that thing or attributes we envy. Envy can be a destructive force in our lives. Such thinking may precipitate as well as reflect varying degrees of anger.

For example, with regard to seeing that beautiful home, we could react with: “How come they get to live there?” Thoughts such as “What makes them so special?” or worse yet, “They don’t deserve to have a house like that!” reflect the darker shade of envy. Such thoughts may ultimately fuel hatred and even aggression toward those who own such a house.

Such envy is malicious and may be accompanied by resentment, annoyance, and wishes of ill-fortune. It may ultimately fuel hatred and even aggression toward those who own such a house. We might think, “They don’t deserve to live in that house!” or worse yet, that the owner should lose possession of it, either due to financial hardship or even by flames. Unlike benign envy that is directed toward the thing possessed, a trait or behaviors exhibited, destructive envy focuses on the person.

Such desires may stem from a deep sense of “schadenfreude,” or pleasure in seeing the suffering by those we envy. Research indicates that this may at times be tied to, but not necessarily dependent on, our dislike or anger toward the other and our feeling they do not deserve what they have (Van de Ven, Hoogland, et. al., 2015).

Roots of destructive envy

The trigger for destructive envy is an already existing frail sense of self — an ego that is vulnerable to feel “less than” or inadequate upon making a comparison with others. In effect, the comparison shines a light on and gives rise to a sense of inferiority about oneself that is established long before the comparison is made. The predisposition to feel “less than” subsequently primes destructive envious thoughts of others. After all, their possessions, attributes, or behaviors are stark reminders of one’s underlying sense of inadequacy.

While we may try to suppress or repress our sense of deficiency, these feelings rise to greater awareness during the process of comparison. This experience of feeling less than may be experienced with full awareness or at a deeper level, absent of conscious awareness.

We may more likely experience envy toward others who are more like us in age, gender, class, age or education. One study, for example, emphasizes that young adults are more envious than their elders and about more things (2016). It’s as if we’re more concerned about our standing in our own “tribe” than how we match up to members of a different tribe. As a ninth-grade student, we may be more concerned about our standing with other ninth-graders than about the high school senior. As a millennial, we may more frequently compare ourselves to other millennials rather than to baby boomers.

This may also be reflected in a recent study of social media that found that the greater the frequency of social media engagement, the higher the potential for depression (Chan and Jianling, 2018). The problem is that photos of others depict a distinct moment in time rather than the true nature of who they are, what they feel and the overall context of the situation photographed. As such, when viewing others, we see a mere moment of their existence. And such a view is often as unrealistic as the brushed photos of celebrities and models featured in magazines.

Photos are two-dimensional. They offer little into the complexity or inner landscape of those in the photos. As such, they can foster quick judgments such as “They’re having so much more fun than me.” “They certainly have more friends than me” or “They are happier and not as lonely as me!” may be the knee-jerk reactions when we’re prone to low self-esteem.

The mindset that leaves us prone to destructive envy constricts our capacity to look beyond the details of the snapshot. It undermines our ability to question the full complexity of the situation or what an individual is truly experiencing. In this manner, this mindset corresponds to the constricted vision fostered by depression.

Destructive envy is disempowering

Engagement in destructive envy disempowers rather than empowers us. Each time we embrace destructive envy we rob ourselves of agency. In part, because we may we suppress or deny such feelings we become more vulnerable to them — sensitized to their influencing without our full awareness. We may then experience discomfort, tension, and even some arousal of inferiority that we then attribute as being caused by others.

At its core, we then experience arousal of shame with ourselves for not “measuring up” as well as when even acknowledging envy. The comparison then becomes a challenge to the story we have formed about who we are. Experiencing anger or being aggressive may then serve, like much of anger, as a distraction and reaction to our internal suffering. In the process, we subsequently lose sight of dealing with and addressing both our feelings of being less than and the work we may need to do to feel better about ourselves.

In the context of my work with clients, many grow to recognize and acknowledge envy they experience toward others who may not have to deal with the kind of suffering they experience. “They don’t get as depressed as I get!” “I’m sure they don’t feel the same anxiety I have around people!” and “I’m angry that I have to do work to feel better about myself and they don’t!” are just a few examples of statements they make regarding such envy.

Only when they choose to let go of the destructive envy — and the anger that accompanies it– do they become more able to make the changes they seek in counseling. They recognize that they are deciding to make a choice.

The Choice

The choice is realized when we are aware of engaging in destructive envy and decide to transform it into benign or motivating envy. The constructive choice is made when we decide to cultivate this more constructive perspective.

In part, this may involve mourning and grieving. It requires making peace with the fact that no matter what we do there will always be others who are smarter, taller, richer, more attractive, more confident, and even have more “toys” than us. And, as I emphasize with my clients, others may in fact have it easier so that they grew up more confident to deal with the comparisons they form. This is a reality that we must all negotiate at various times in our lives. And it is part of developing resilience that allows us to face challenges and to flourish in our lives.

Take a moment to picture yourself standing in a single file of people whose order is ranked by a specific attribute–such as height, weight, appearance, wealth, intelligence, etc. No matter what attribute you identify there will always be others who seem better off in front of you, and worse off behind you. You may find that you need to look at those behind you in order to build up your self-esteem and alleviate feelings of being “less than”. Or, you may find yourself often looking ahead of you.

Overly focusing your attention on those in front of you or behind you will contribute to making your happiness appear elusive. This occurs when you have to depend on feeling superior to those behind you to feel better about yourself. Similarly, if you are prone to destructive envy, looking ahead may only remind you of your diminished sense of self.

This is vastly different from looking at others ahead of you may inform you about actions you wish to take, values you wish to embrace. It similarly differs from looking ahead of you for mentors, individuals who may help you achieve your goals, support your values and fuel your motivation to do well.

Here are some tips for helping you move past destructive envy:

1. Be mindful to recognize when you are comparing yourself to others.
2. Be mindful to recognize when your comparison triggers benign or motivational envy or destructive envy.
3. Recognize that your envy tells you more about how you feel about yourself than it does about the other person or their traits, achievements, possessions or behavior.
4. Remember that genuine, positive self-esteem is something that only you can cultivate in yourself–through work on your self.
5. Remember that genuine self-esteem is founded on comparing ourselves to ourselves.
6. Be mindful that positive self-esteem is built upon your appraisal of yourself including improving your skills, overall resilience to life’s challenges and engaging in self-compassion.
7. Engage in mindfulness practices to expand your awareness to make these choices. These have been found to help transform destructive into more benign reactions (Dong, Yanhui, et. al., 2019)
8. Allow yourself to mourn and grieve that you may not have had the advantages that others may have.
9. Actively work to remove barriers to reaching your goals rather than be engulfed by destructive envy.

It is important to remember that most of us may feel envy from time to time. The key issue is whether it is benign or destructive in form. And if it is destructive, remind yourself that you do not have to address this challenge alone. Seek out others who are supportive and nurturing and who may provide you with guidance and support — whether with friends, family or professional counselors.

Loyalty is a virtue we value in several types of relationships, including among family, friends, romantic partners, workplaces, organizations, religions, and nations.¹ But what is loyalty, and why is it important?

“People tend to define loyalty by what it is not (for example: not being betrayed, cheated on, or abandoned), but loyalty is much more than the absence of mistreatment,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

Loyalty is faithfulness, dedication, honesty, trust, and support in a relationship, says Dr. Romanoff. It requires an emotional commitment and engenders a sense of identity.²

This article explores the characteristics, benefits, and drawbacks of loyalty, as well as some strategies to build loyalty in relationships.

Characteristics of Loyalty

Below, Dr. Romanoff explains some of the characteristics of loyalty.

Steadfastness and Support

Loyalty means being there for someone through the highs and lows, and staying by their side regardless of the circumstances.

Loyalty involves accepting and loving someone for who they are, and not threatening to leave them when things become challenging. People display loyalty by weathering storms together, providing support, and sticking it out.

Consistency

Loyalty means being consistent in your treatment, behavior, and regard for another. It’s important to be reliable and dependable—someone who can be counted on to show up. Loyalty also involves consistently treating the other person with kindness, fairness, and generosity of spirit.

Honesty and Transparency

Being vulnerable and not hiding parts of your identity or parts of your life are important aspects of loyalty. People who share their thoughts and feelings display a willingness to be known and to know others in an authentic and open way.

Benefits and Drawbacks of Loyalty

Loyalty can have both benefits and drawbacks. Dr. Romanoff lists the pros and cons of this trait below.

Benefits of Loyalty

Loyalty can strengthen relationships because people are more honest and forthcoming when they know the other person is loyal. It engenders trust and closeness in relationships.

Relationships with loyalty are stronger because both people can be themselves and share what they’re experiencing without fear that the other person will abandon them.
— SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD

This is true for romantic, work, family, and social relationships as when we feel others are loyal to us, we can be more authentic and take off the socially acceptable filters that we tend to display our behaviors through.

Loyalty helps build support, which is important for mental, emotional, and physical well-being.³ Knowing you have people who have your back and will be there for you when you need them can help you feel secure.

Drawbacks of Loyalty

Loyalty can be harmful when your allegiance to the other person becomes consistently detrimental to you.

Some people remain in relationships that no longer serve them. In these instances, their sense of loyalty can cause them to become exploited or abused. While loyalty is an important trait, it should not be used against someone.

It can be hard for someone who is loyal to recognize when they are being manipulated by someone they love. It can be helpful to get an outside perspective from a friend, family member, colleague, or therapist who has their best interests at heart.

While it may not always be possible to sever relationships, it’s important to set boundaries in relationships with people who are manipulating you because of your loyalty.How to Recognize When You’re Being Used

How to Build Loyalty

Loyalty is a characteristic that can be developed and earned in relationships. Dr. Romanoff suggests some tips to help build loyalty:

• Show your appreciation: Show the person that you value them. Communicate how important they are to you and how significant their presence is in your life. Don’t take them for granted. Showing someone your loyalty to them can help encourage them to be more loyal to you.
• Be supportive: Offer support when they are struggling and help them face their problems. Don’t give up on them when challenges arise. They should know you’re there for them through thick and thin.
• Maintain their confidence: If they share their secrets, hopes, plans, fears, or insecurities with you, ensure that you keep their trust and maintain their confidence. Respect them and avoid passing judgment.
• Keep your promises: If you make promises or commitments to them, make it a point to follow through and not let them down. If there’s something you can’t do, be honest and upfront from the start.
• Don’t be unfaithful: In romantic relationships, it’s important to honor your commitment to your partner and remain faithful.
• Be honest: Be transparent and honest with the person, and avoid keeping secrets from them. It’s also important to be authentic with them, even if that makes you vulnerable. Being your true self with them helps promote trust and loyalty.
• Act in their best interests: Having ulterior motives when you’re dealing with someone, talking behind their back, or embarrassing them in public are acts of disloyalty.
• Address problems within the relationship: When there is a problem in your relationship, manage it directly with the person instead of talking about it to other people. This shows that you respect and value the relationship with the person instead of seeking external validation by talking about them and your problems to others.
• Treat them fairly: If you’re having a disagreement, it’s important to hear their perspective, even if it clashes with yours, instead of ignoring or avoiding difficult conversations.

I am Very very sorry , I wasn’t a good listener

Before determining who you can or cannot trust, you first need to understand what makes you trust someone in the first place. In order to determine whether something is an exception, a rule, or anything in between, you need to understand the psychology of how trust works. 

If you’ve placed your trust in the wrong people in the past, or someone very close to you has betrayed your trust, you will have developed trust issues. That is, you will have a greater lack of trust than most people, which will affect your future decisions

Please refer to previous topics in this blog about trust and how valualwe it is

it is your own reponsibility to pick and trust the right people

having self confidence in your self is good path but having trust people will save a lot and give you ability to make faster decession and proceed with others on what they have accomplissed and yours will be additions

That’s Team work if you are going to

Cool please review this part

please spread the words ,share this blog (if you liked it and find useful )

MAde a good pick

Thank you for sharing , it will help to make our voice heard

All Best

Moral Failure: On the Impossible Demands of Morality asks what happens when the sense that “I must” collides with the realization that “I can’t.” Bringing together philosophical and empirical work in moral psychology, it examines moral requirements that are non-negotiable and that contravene the principle that “ought implies can.” In some cases, it is because two non-negotiable requirements conflict in a dilemma that one of them becomes impossible to satisfy yet that remains binding. In other cases, performing a particular action may be non-negotiably required—even if it is impossible—because not performing the action is unthinkable. After offering both conceptual and empirical explanations of the experience of impossible moral requirements and the ensuing failures to fulfill them, the book considers what to make of such experience and, in particular, what role such experience has in the construction of value and of moral authority. According to the constructivist account that the book proposes, some moral requirements can be authoritative even when they are impossible to fulfill. The book points out a tendency to not acknowledge the difficulties that impossible moral requirements and unavoidable moral failures create in moral life, and traces this tendency through several different literatures, from scholarship on Holocaust testimony to discussions of ideal and nonideal theory, from theories of supererogation to debates about moral demandingness, and to feminist care ethics

The media (including social media) has an important role in the fight against corruption as it can demand accountability and transparency from the public and private sectors. There are several studies that have demonstrated the correlation between press freedom and corruption (Bolsius, 2012; Brunetti and Weder, 2003; Chowdhury, 2004; Fardig, Andersson, and Oscarsson, 2011). The media provides information on public sector corruption where governmental activity is opaque by design or by default. The media, and in particular investigative journalism, plays a crucial role in exposing corruption to public scrutiny and fighting against impunity. This is set out in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) report on the role of the media and investigative journalism (2018). A prominent example of international cooperation activities that brought fraud and corruption to the attention of the public and law enforcement authorities is offered by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ). The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) publication Reporting on Corruption: A Resource Tool for Governments and Journalists (2014) examines and elucidates good practices in the journalism profession and in legislation promoting broader freedoms of opinion and expression that can support anti-corruption efforts.

In many countries, the media confronts unethical people or practices and may often be the catalyst for a criminal or other investigation. For instance, in South Africa, news reports on large-scale corruption and clientelism at the highest levels prompted the Office of the Public Protector (an independent ombudsman) to investigate the allegations. This investigation led to the 2014 Nkandla report and the 2016 State Capture report which found unethical and illegal activity by the then President Jacob Zuma, which contributed to his decision to resign in February 2018. In Bulgaria, in 2019, a joint investigation by Radio Free Europe and the NGO Anti-Corruption Fund revealed that many high-level politicians and public officials had acquired luxury apartments at prices far below the market rates. This investigation led to the resignation of the then Justice Minister, three vice-ministers, several MPs as well as the head of the Bulgarian Anti-Corruption Agency. These types of outcome have been described by Stapenhurst (2000) as the “tangible effects” of the media’s fight against corruption, while the “intangible effects” of media anti-corruption efforts include “enhanced political pluralism, enlivened political debate and a heightened sense of accountability among politicians, institutions and public bodies”.

Media reports on corruption have also taken centre stage at the global level. A case that demonstrates the importance of journalists and the media in detecting incidents of corruption is the Mossack Fonseca Papers case (widely known as the Panama Papers case). In 2015, an anonymous source leaked documents from the Panama-based firm Mossack Fonseca to the German newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung. The newspaper investigated the documents with the help of the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ) and published over 11.5 million documents containing information about secret trusts, financial transactions with tax havens, and more than 200,000 offshore entities (the online database Offshoreleaks, created by ICIJ, provides open access to all papers leaked from Mossack Fonseca). The release of these documents has led to lawsuits in numerous countries around the world. Over USD 1.2 billion have been recovered in countries including Iceland, Uruguay, Mexico, New Zealand, Belgium and the United Kingdom. See the list of countries that have launched investigations as a result of the Mossack Fonseca Papers and how much money they have recovered here. For further information also consider this interactive overview by the ICIJ on the impact that the exposure of the papers had on corruption around the world.

Stapenhurst (2000) distinguishes tangible (direct) and intangible (indirect) ways in which the media assists in detecting corruption. Examples of tangible effects of exposing corruption in the media include: fuelling public outrage at corruption in government, forcing the impeachment and resignation of a corrupt official, prompting formal investigations into corruption, and spurring citizen pressure for the reform of corrupt States. An example of an intangible effect of the media on corruption is raising public awareness about weak economic competition, and the fact that more competition could increase accountability and create incentives for public officials to investigate corruption (Stapenhurst, 2000).

The extent to which journalists can assist in detecting corruption depends on whether the media is free and independent. For media reporting and journalism to play an effective role in corruption detection, the media has to be free and independent. Freedom of information (FOI) laws are important in determining the role of the media in detecting corruption. Further, there must be legislative frameworks in place to protect journalists and their sources from unfounded lawsuits, recrimination and victimization (OECD, 2018). On the extreme end of the scale, whistle-blowers and journalists have been killed for their role in exposing corruption (see here and here). UNODC has developed the following resource tool for reporting on corruption for journalists and governments. For a broad discussion of ethics, integrity and the media, see Module 10 of the E4J University Module Series on Integrity and Ethics.

Despite the importance and utility of the media in the fight against corruption, media ownership may undermine anti-corruption efforts, especially where politicians, business leaders or corrupt elites unduly influence the media. In such cases, media reporting may be biased and used to manipulate citizens (Freille, Harque, and Kneller, 2007). Investigative journalists have reported intimidation, attempts to undermine their professional credibility and political represions. Moreover, journalists often receive death threats and some have been killed because of their investigations on corruption (OECD, 2018). According to a report of the Committee to Protect Journalists, 34 journalists were murdered in 2018 alone. Freelance journalists are more exposed to violence than other journalists, probably because they lack adequate institutional protection (OECD, 2018) and are also more likely to take higher risk jobs. Moreover, private media owners or the State may heavily interfere with freedom of expression.

Social media is considered more widely accessible, and more resistant to top-down control compared to traditional media. Social media fights corruption by providing information in the form of analysis, commentary and advocacy and through investigations and crowdsourcing. Social media provides an outlet for so-called “citizen journalism” as there are several social media platforms where citizens can provide information on corruption, which is then investigated by government authorities or journalists. Social media may also mobilize public opinion in a way that increases citizen engagement with particular issues (Robertson, 2018), and, on reaching a certain level, this can lead to uprisings and changes in government, as has occurred in several countries such as Tunisia, Egypt and Armenia through activism on Twitter (Enikolopov, Petrova, and Sonin, 2018). Notwithstanding the positive effect that social media can have in engaging citizens in the fight against corruption, it should be taken into consideration that the contemporary mass media platforms are vulnerable to abuse, which can lead to the sustained spread of disinformation among citizens. In particular, the growing prevalence of false information spread via social media – known as “fake news” – has become a major threat to public trust in both mainstream and independent media outlets. Fake news not only disseminates incorrect information, but is also often used with malicious intent, for example to discredit political adversaries by casting doubt on their integrity through weaponized reports alleging corrupt conduct, or to discredit journalists who report cases of corruption accurately (Kossow, 2018). Countering such abuses requires the coordinated efforts of the whole society, which again brings to mind the collective action problems mentioned earlier. For additional discussion on citizen journalism and social media platforms see Module 10 of the E4J University Module Series on Integrity and Ethics

How to answer divisive question ? or How to build trust and build friendship that can stay for a long time .

I made a look up in google and found that first part I did put effort on it and people understand it

the second part is positive thinking and more inner circle also ,

having a good people that you can trust and like to spend time with . (please refer to first group of topics in this blog ) you are going to like it .

democracy and freedom of speech and strength of organization is awesome

problems that are come up (when you fallow up ,on your issue or the popular issue , there is solutions)

have good confidence and vote in th next election and make a good friends

Something that I will do ,myself

Dear Sir / MAdam

I hope you are doing well

I wish I was able to do more.

as I read in the News

Ukrainian refugee will get to tough point in the winter , and it is not to late to organize more flexible work by non profit organizations that would assist refugees (in all start steps thatrefugee needs)

welcoming Russian people to visit and exchange cultural thoughts with ability to criticize what you do not like , will make the door to peace negotiation wider

My sources in this points

war in baltic

radio free Europe

BBC

UN Secretary Visits

All The Best

I am very sorry for the bad news I read about war in Ukraine

refugee crisis ,energy and economy crisis

calls for preventing Russian people to visit other countries (In Europe)That’s not in any one benefit and will be a wrong decision

crime against type of thinking and opinions.

All Best wishes of Peace for Russian people and Ukrainian people

Moving from Africa to human rights in middle east

UN is in its project on main

July 26

Hello

due to resources and not having enough time I will not be sharing more topics in this part , till te end of this year

in new year, I hope I will improve time management and resources